10. Drinking tap water eliminates need to buy multivitamins with
LEAD!
9. Indoor pests large enough to
be claimed as dependents on income tax.
8. Just in case of alien
invasion or puma attack —neighbors are well armed!
7. Pavement and sidewalks
double as convenient cooking surfaces.
6. Friendly alligators help
control stray pet and children populations.
5. Drive-thru booze, guns, and porn!!!
4. Perfect opportunity to combine love of cycling with
subconcious death wish.
3. Hurricane season provides convenient excuse for your
boarded-up windows and debris scattered on your lawn.
2. Complete lack of customer service helps to develop
self-reliance.
and the number one advantage of
living in Tampa...